In Search of Tolerance Part 4: How Empathy Transforms Relationships

 

Anytime we come together as humans our differing viewpoints, tendencies, and belief systems can sometime collide. Conflict in relationships is inevitable and can become a moment for growth, as Carl Jung says,

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

The purpose of this series on tolerance is to provide a way to make a shift away from mind created conflict to heart-centered connections. 


We’ve covered much ground in a few short weeks. Here’s a quick recap:

In our first post, we began with some common relationship challenges in The Steps to Better Relationships. Next we turned the discussion to How To Be More Civil and last week we covered, Five Ways To Be More Respectful.

In this post, we’re looking at how empathy can transform relationships.

When we are able to relate and understand another person’s feelings we’re able to discover compassion. When we are compassionate with others, we’re coming from the heart and revealing the love within.

Learning how other people function in the world is a valuable gift. When we can better understand where the other person is coming from and what their motivations are we’re creating an environment for more joy.

As Daniel Gilbert says,

“Each of us is inextricably bound to others…whether we like it or not, our happiness is in each other’s hands.”

So now lets return to our old friends and master teachers: Felix and Oscar.

In this week’s episode called, Bunny is Missing Down by The Lake, Oscar is excited about heading out for the weekend on a solo trip of relaxation and fishing.  His plans change when he notices his friend Felix is depressed.

While Felix was dropping off his alimony check at his ex-wife’s home, he comes into contact with what seems to be her new boyfriend. Felix dreamed that some day he would reunite with his former wife. Meeting the new man in her life changes his dream and Felix is depressed.

Oscar won’t leave Felix alone for the weekend and insists he come along and join him. He can relate to what Felix is experiencing and is determined to help him feel better.


Oscar and Felix show us the power of empathy and how it transforms relationships. Watch for these occurrences throughout the episode:

Empathy Reduces Conflict

When we spend our time trying to understand how someone is feeling, we’re less in our head or thinking. It provides an opportunity to get in touch with our emotions and come from the heart.

Anytime we can come from the heart in our relationships we reduce conflict and deepen connections.

Notice how this affects Oscar and Felix’s dynamic. Normally, Felix and Oscar are bickering over one small thing after another. Because Oscar empathized with what Felix was experiencing, the two seem to be enjoying each other’s company. 

Deep Listening Shows You Care

At times each of us get so caught up in the details of our own lives that we forget to show others how much we care. When we take the time to listen and truly understand what another is experiencing, it shows how much we care.

Deep listening is a powerful way to become more empathetic in all your relationships.  

Notice how Felix listens to the young girl named Bunny and relates to what she’s feeling. His approach is gentle and sweet and she recognizes he deeply cares about what she’s experiencing. 


Empathy Heals and Uplifts Others

Because Oscar insisted Felix join him on his fishing weekend, Felix is distracted from his depression. He’s in a new environment away from the everyday routines and it takes his mind off the emotional pain he’s feeling.


Notice how Felix does the same for Bunny when she tells her story. They make a quick heart-connection that heals and uplifts both of them.

Oscar’s gesture to include Felix spreads the healing around to others in ways neither of them could have guessed. It also works out good for Oscar, because he meets a new woman who accepts his offer to go out on a date. 

Empathy Leads To Compassion

Without empathy, we’re unable to get out of thinking mind and into our heart. It’s the feeling and emotion that opens the heart in beautiful and sometimes surprising ways.

Notice how Oscar’s intent is to help Felix feel better about himself. He’s not self-focused and puts Felix first.

Oscar’s compassion for Felix shows his heartfelt concern.

Empathy allows the love within to be expressed in compassionate ways. Empathy ultimately leads to compassion – which is love expressed in all it’s fullness.

The 10 Top Benefits from Watching This Alignment TV Show:

1. The realization that empathy increases your happiness
2. The ability to genuinely understand another person’s feelings and perspective without judgment or defensiveness.
3. The ability to actively listen to others with sharp focus.
4. A willingness to challenge prejudices within and discover commonalities with others.
5. A willingness to put your needs and desires aside when seeing someone that needs your help and compassion
6. A desire to be more compassionate with others
7. A letting go of any jealousy that blocks your empathy and compassion
8. An ability to take things lightly and find ways to playfully connect with others.
9. A deeper concern for others welfare.
10. A growing generosity that comes from the heart and is felt by others.

The Steps To Energetically Benefit from This Alignment Session:

1. If you haven’t done the Intention Session, then do this first and only once. Think of it as downloading an App on your smartphone.Once completed then you’re ready to benefit from any of our Alignment movies/TV shows.
2. Watch The Odd Couple: Bunny is Missing Down by The Lake available online for free. Click Here for episode.
3. If you notice a shift in the subsequent days, please pass this blog to someone you know who might appreciate it.

Ready To Align Deeper With Tolerance?
Consider private sessions. When individuals seek private Alignment Process work, they embark on a deeper process of aligning with the power of the heart.

The heart is the source of our individual life force. It’s the wellspring of joy and when we’re in alignment, we have inner balance and peace of mind. This alignment creates a new set point for the individual that’s sustained. A type of joy emanates from your heart that creates the life you’ve always desired.

If you’re ready for personal and spiritual transformation, consider personal sessions with Sue-Anne MacGregor. Click here for more information:

If you’d like a personal coaching sessions with David Barnes – Click Here